Skin against skin
by LouisVuitton11
Summary: "…On this, the third Quarter Quell games, the male and female tributes are to be reaped from the existing pool of Victors in each district…". What if Annie was a victor, born in district 1 and was reaped in 3rd Quarter Quell? Would Annie be a different person if she didn't have Finnick as her mentor, lover and protector? AU. Finnick/Annie.
1. Chapter 1

Some of you might recgonize this story. I posted this story for a few weeks ago and I happened to remove this story when I tried to rewrite the summary (Usually, I'm not that clumsy). So I had to publish this story again. Sorry. The next chapter is coming next week.

However, to people who haven't read my story - Skin against skin is my first Odesta (My OTP forever) story. This chapter takes place after president Snow told about year's Quarter Quell on tv, with Annie's POV. There is no Finnick in this chapter. But I promise he will be in the story soon.

A little warning for some sexual material and some Gloss / Annie.

**Enjoy! **

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"…On this, the third Quarter Quell games, the male and female tributes are to be reaped from the existing pool of Victors in each district…"

The shower was one of my favourite places since the day I came out of the arena - alive. Being in the shower felt like being in another world there nobody could see or hear you cry. And at the same time, you got clean. All dirt, blood and memories from the Capitol and it's disgusting population disappeared down in the drain. The shower was truly the one place I felt safe at and felt like I could cry and get it all out.

I didn't cry in front of others. I never let anyone see the tears fall down my face. I always kept it all in, because I never knew if someone was going to walk into my room and see me at my weakest moment, so I didn't even cry in my own room unless I was going to bed and end up crying myself to sleep.

Just crying as the nice hot water was hitting my head and back actually helped a lot sometimes.

_The existing pool of victors in each district. The existing pool of the victors in each district. _

The water comforted me as it ran over my face, hair and body. I closed my eyes and didn't know if I was crying or if it was just the water that ran down my cheeks. I just stood there and felt the hot water dripping down my back. Felt the tears dripping out of my eyes and down my cheek.

The water made so much noise as it hit my shell**.** So loud that no one can hear my cry or see my breakdown.

I sat down and just sat there in the tub, that shower with very hot water that was burning me to numbness. And there I sat and waited for the tears to stop.

_I'm Annie Cresta. Born in district one. Born in a family with a long generation of careers. Career trained and volunteered. The victor of Hunger games 70__th__. Loved by capitol, despite my madness. Refused to be forced into prostitution; it was until they killed my brother and father as punishment. Leaving my sister-in-law and my nephew as my only family. All I know is that I wish I died in the arena. _

"Annie?" my sister-in-law Ruby whispered outside of my bathroom. I noted that her voice was full of concern. "Are you okay? You've been there for one hour".

Her words surprised me…has it really been one hour? I blinked and tried to get up off the shower floor but I slipped on water and fell down on my butt. I know that I'm supposed to feel any kind of pain, but I didn't. I felt…nothing. Just emptiness.

"Annie?" Ruby knocked on the door once again. I took a deep breath and made sure that my voice sounded normal before talking.

"You don't need to worry. It's just…I needed a break" I said and finally stood up from the floor in the shower and opened the shower door. The whole bathroom was foggy and I couldn't even see myself in the mirror. It was such a relief. Right now I didn't want to see myself. I was certain that I looked terrible, with swollen, red eyes, fresh scratch wounds on my cheeks and my very wrinkled skin from my one-hour shower.

"Is it about Quarter Quell?" Ruby asked gently as if she was afraid that it would make me even more upset. I sighed as I grabbed my fluffy, white robe from the hook and wrapped myself in it.

I didn't answer but apparently, it was enough for Ruby.

"Annie… there is eight other female victors here around. Your odds are one of nine".

"Don't" was all I could say in the moment. I felt so exhausted, especially when I've been crying for a long time. I just want to fall asleep and forget all crap that was happening to me.

"Annie…"

"What am I supposed to be? Happy? What if I get reaped? I can't get back there" I snapped back and opened the door only to be taken back when I saw the tears forming in Ruby's light blue eyes.

"Ruby…" I tried, but she cut off me.

"I don't want to lose you either! You're fucking important to Bruce and me. You helped me realize the value of life and passing through the pregnancy and taking care of Bruce without breaking down. You're a part of our family" Ruby said, as her eyes filled with tears again.

"But right now, we will try to be positive. It's what Bruce need. We need it too" She finished and walked out before I could respond. I sighed. She will never understand. No matter what I say.

* * *

I stared at the window, seeing the rain dropping on it, reflecting their colours. I had always liked rain and its sound. The sound felt so soothing. I remembered when I was younger, I loved to run in the rain and spin around with the feeling of dropping rain on my face. It drove my dad crazy. He always yelled at me to get in the house, otherwise I would catch a cold. I was so engrossed in the memory, that I didn't hear Bruce calling my name. I noticed him first when he tugged at my shirt.

"Aunt Annie?" he whispered, his big green eyes staring at me. I was startled at first. He just looked like his father, with his green eyes and dark brown hair, which was slightly curly. My brother…I could see him in the little boy's feature. I smiled, trying to hold back the tears.

"Yes, Bruce?" I said, lifting up four-year-old boy into my lap.

"Can you read a bedtime story to me? Mom said you could do it," he asked, with a sweet smile, showing off his baby teeth. I smiled. No matter how sad I was, his smile always made me smile.

"Of course! Let's go to your room and pick a book," I said, trying to seem perky.

This time, he chose a fairy tale about a princess and dragon. It surprised me; he usually chose stories about the knights. The fairy-tale was pretty cliché and ended with the prince saving the princess from the dragon.

"… And then they lived happily ever after" I finished off the story and looked down at Bruce, surprised to see that he was still awake. He looked thoughtful, as he tugged at my sweater.

"Aunt Annie?" he asked and looked up at me. "Do you have a prince?".

I frowned. The question caught me off guard. It took a while before I could answer.

"No. Because I don't need a prince to recuse me. Remember, your aunt is a victor" I smiled a bit playful and pinched his nose. He gurgled.

"But don't you want to share your happily ever after with a prince?" he asked again. I felt that nagging feeling again and tried to brush off it. I didn't deserve someone. If I found a "prince", I would just ruin him as much as he destroys me. Snow would use him against me. No one deserved to live in constant threat depending of my behaviour. Like Ruby and Bruce.

"I have you and your mom. You two are enough for me" I answered and hoped he would be satisfied with my answer as I put the book on the bedside table.

"Now, it's time for bed" I continued and raised up from the bed.

* * *

I rolled over on to my back and stared at the white ceiling. I've been lying here since the dinner. The rain dropped on my window.

I rolled back on to my stomach and sighed when I realized this night was going to be one of the many sleepless nights. There was no reason this should be difficult. I wished it could be easier.

Giving up, I pushed myself up from the mattress.

Like the many sleepless nights, I sneaked out of my room. It wasn't not like I tried to sneak out without Ruby knowing. She was aware that I did it sometimes. I just didn't want to wake up Ruby or Bruce. Only wearing my nightshirt and panties and barefooted, I sneaked like a shadow in the night's darkness to the house opposite my house, not caring about the rain. I found the key under the doormat and slipping the key in the keyhole and opened the door, carefully and quietly, with deference to Cashmere. She was always pissed off if I happened to wake her.

The whole house was dark and I couldn't see anything right now but after the many night visits, I knew how to find his room in the darkness. Ten steps forward, then the stair and from the ledge, four steps to left and ten steps to straight right. I quickly found the diamond doorknob.

Slipping in his bed and in the warmth under his sheets, waking up him with a single whisper "I need you right now". Usually he would be startled because of his instinct but he has gotten used to me coming to him at this time, so he just wrapped his muscular arms around me and pulled me up on top of him.

To my delight, he was already naked. So I didn't have to fumble with his pjs.

"I see you were waiting for me" I whispered, leaning over him. A glint of lust flashed through his eyes as he crushed my lips under his. I couldn't help but enjoying the feel of his strength and intensity. His hands were quick; taking away my nightshirt and panties. He was good at this, I thought.

"Now tell me what do you want."

"You" I breathed.

"Right answer" he quickly turned me so I ended up under him. He moved his hands to my hips and pressed my body against his as he kept kissing me.

Skin against skin. It felt good. Nothing but skin. I was his. He was mine. All of my thoughts disappeared as I felt him inside of me and withered of his powerful moves. I felt his teeth sliding against my skin. My nails sank in his back as I responded to his moves, wrapping my legs around his waist as he again and again violently but slowly bumped hips against my. His arms and skin against my skin was the only thing that kept me on the earth.

At the end, Gloss brought back me as he was saying something, but I could no longer hear his voice. It will be over in seconds. A sob hitched in my throat. Too soon. Too soon.

He grunted in my dark hair. I felt warm inside, but not in a good way. I could feel the anguish building inside me. I wouldn't have done it again. I rolled off him and breathed out. So wrong, wrong.

"Thank you, Annie" Gloss smirked and kissed me before continuing down to my neck. I could feel his teeth making some scratch on my neck before he rolled over at his side of the bed. As if he wanted to mark his territory. I lay motionless there and felt how the remorse took over my body.

It was the first time I couldn't sleep after a session with Gloss. Beside me, he had already fallen asleep. His breathing was slow and even. I stared at his beautiful profile and envied him. That he could always sleep, no matter what was happening to him. It was like Quarter Quell wasn't bothering him at all.

My mouth was getting dry, but I couldn't find the will to get up and get a glass of water.

A lot of people would have thought that it was weird that I was doing this; despite I was forced into prostitution in the Capitol. I was supposed to be afraid of any kind of intimacy. But I felt comforted by the thought that I was willing and have control with Gloss, unlike in Capitol with my clients. In some way, it made me forget all of my nightmares and bad memories. Maybe, I was mad after all.

If people were thinking we're having a relationship and Gloss might be my prince – they were totally wrong. I wasn't able to have a relationship and if I could – it wouldn't have been with Gloss. Absolutely not. I mean, he wasn't a bad person. But he was arrogant and egotistic and I couldn't imagine us in a relationship. It would be a big disaster.

It took a while before I was able to move out of the bed. As I walked out of the house in the darkness, I was disappointed in myself. No matter how many times I told myself not to have sex with him, I did it anyway.

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**What do you think? Please review, I always appreciate some feedbacks.**

LouisVuitton11


	2. The reaping

Hey! Here's the second chapter. There's no Finnick in this chapter but I promise he will be in the third chapter.

**Enjoy! **

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After we found out about victors being reaped in 3rd quarter quell, all of the victors in district one trained every day and if it was needed, they got personal trainer. Like me. I was trained for the reaping since I was little. I remembered that the gymnasium felt more like my home than my real home and it was there I met Noah for the first time. However, after I became a victor – I never returned to the gymnasium. Too many memories. I didn't care about training on my own. The only thing I still did was to jog. My body appeared to be slim and slender, but inside I wasn't strong enough to be a career.

For the first time in a long time, I had to return to the gymnasium. You can say it wasn't a nice feeling. To see Noah's face everywhere and he wasn't even there.

My trainer was Emeralda. She was one of those who tried to volunteer and failed because someone else beat them to it. She was multi-talented and knew exactly what she was doing. I had to share her with Cashmere but weirdly I appreciated her company. Cashmere was my mentor in 70th hunger games so it felt natural in some way. Also, she knew how to push my buttons with her provocative comments and she made me train even harder.

With Emeralda, Cashmere and I trained everything from fencing to climbing. Ruby helped me by putting me on a diet and made sure that I ate properly with vitamins.

Even my free time was occupied by training. Sometimes I would jog with Gloss. He hated it; running was not one of his strongest sides. It was probably because all of his muscles slowed his speed. The fact that he hated to run made it just even more fun, I always tried to find new ways to provoke and tease him, so that he would run faster and catch up with me.

During these days, we speculated all of time about who would be reaped, especially last year's victors - the star-crossed lovers Katniss and Peeta. One or both of them will be back in the arena - it was one hundred procent sure. There were just three victors from district 12. In fact, I remembered that they showed Katniss's elected wedding dress before Snow talked about 3rd quarter quell. It made me wonder if 3rd quarter quell was president Snow's way to punish them, for their attempt to defy him in the arena last year.

We also started to watch the replays of previous hunger games, as a prevention. I tried to skip it but Gloss insisted and said it could be a great advantage, knowing the former victors' traits and abilities. But it didn't help me. It just made me remember more and more of my own hunger games – which I've tried to forget. When we watched my hunger games I could feel other victors' judging eyes stare at me.

I started to get more and more nightmares about my own hunger games. I relived every bloody moment and memory. The bloodbath. My first kill - I hit her chest with the knife, exactly in the place where her heart was beating. My second kill – the same execution as the first one. The moment I poisoned my allies from District two. Their necks were covered of scratch wounds from when they clawed themselves during the poison process. My fifth kill. The moment it was only two of us left. The moment my district partner tried to strangle me to death, as I reached for my knife. The moment I proved him to be the better one. And how he touched my lips with his bloody thumb and whispered, "You deserve it" as his life ran out through my blood stained hands. I could hear his whisper every night. "You deserve it" together with a cannon sound. The last cannon sound.

My nightmares have gone too far, I wasn't getting any sleep at all. Eventually, I gave up and started using Capitol's sleeping pills, the sleeping pills that Ruby has been trying to get me to start with. The reason I didn't want to use them, was that I didn't like the idea of becoming addicted to it and I was also afraid of falling asleep one night and never wake up again.

The sleeping pills got me more sleep than necessary. Be able to sleep a whole night in peace without a single nightmare was amazing. I begin to use them every day. Just to feel it´s wonderful and peaceful effect. But the problem was that I ended up not to be able to sleep without a sleeping pill. It was what I had been afraid of. But right now, I didn't care. The important thing was that I got enough sleep so that I could focus on training and on the coming reaping day.

* * *

The reaping day was finally here. It was a beautiful day - sunny and warm. But I didn't feel affected by the weather in a positive way. It felt like the nice weather was trying to fool me into believing it was a good sign, when it wasn't.

My routine was the same. Washing my face first, then brushing my teeth, then getting in the shower and scrubbing my skin properly until it became red and then washing my hair. After that I would dry myself with a towel. And finish off with my favourite body lotion and a touch of make-up.

I decided not to wear the reaping clothes from the Capitol. My stylist Poppy sent those clothes to me yesterday. The clothes were beautiful but the colour was ruby red, like blood. No matter how many times I explained to Poppy that I didn't want to wear red, she never listened. I couldn't even look at the clothes, so how was I supposed to wear them then?

I took a look in my closet and chose a flowing maxi skirt in M-slit and a cropped, white halter-top. Best of all, was my skirt's pattern of daisy flowers. Daisy flowers were one of my favourite flowers and they always gave me a sense of peace.

I knew it didn't belong to Capitol or District One's fashion. But I couldn't care less, it could be my last day in District 1 and I wanted to look like myself. Not like a Capitol girl dressed in blood.

Ruby was in the kitchen making the breakfast when I got there. Bruce was seated in his high chair and ate porridge out of a small bowl. At the same time, he was playing with lego and I could see some lego pieces in the porridge.

"Good morning" I said to Ruby and sat down next to Bruce. "Huhuh, what are you doing? Eating some lego pieces?".

I removed the lego pieces from his bowl of porridge, as he giggled and tried to tousle my damp hair with his porridge-covered hands. I avoided his move swiftly and leaned to the other side.

"No, not Aunt's hair" I said, laughing. "It's enough dishevelled".

"Not enough dishevelled" Bruce giggled and tried to reach my hair.

"Bruce, stop it. Eat your porridge" I said with a smile. He stuck out his tongue and then ate porridge without any protest. Ruby came with my tea and bread. And the morning rolled on.

After the breakfast, Ruby offered to make my hair. She curled a strand of my brown hair around her finger as she asked me.

"Yes, please" I answered and swallowed the last piece of bread. Ruby smiled and ran off to get her hairdresser box.

"What kind of hairstyle do you want?" she asked as she picked up a round hairbrush out of the box.

"You deicide" was all I said as Ruby began to gather my hair and brush through it.

I closed my eyes and continued to chew gently on the bread. Ruby's hands were soft, gentle and they felt good in my hair. No wonder she was one of the most popular and booked hairdresser in district one.

She used a hair mousse from Capitol and dried my hair with a hairdryer. It made my hair more shiny and soft than usually. Then she made a simple but beautiful boho (?) crown braid with a few curls hanging freely in the front, framing my face. It was similar to the hairstyle I had on 70th hunger games reaping day. I remembered that Noah complimented my hair that day, when we sat in the train on the way to the Capitol.

"It fits well with your outfit" Ruby said as she finished off the hairstyle with two bobby pins.

"It's perfect, " I said, when I saw it in the mirror that suddenly in my imagination seemed covered in blood trickeling down over the glass.

"You're welcome" Ruby said, with a smile. Even though she was smiling, I could see how worried she was. _She doesn't want to experience a loss again._ I thought, and felt how my smile disappeared. My mood sank even more, as the imaginary blood on the mirror ran further down.

* * *

Saying goodbye to Bruce and Ruby was not as hard as I first thought. The harder part was afterwards. I managed not to cry, as I saw them walking out of the house, on their way to the square. Ruby was holding Bruce's hand. But it was when I closed the door that the fear took hold of me. It was a shocking feeling and I had to sit down. As I tried to breathe properly, I pulled my knees up to my chest. I could feel my limbs go tingly and numb as my heart raced in a fast speed. It felt like I was racing a marathon even though I hadn't moved.

"Miss Cresta?" a voice brought me back. A peacekeeper stood at my doorstop, staring at me with a weird look.

I didn't even hear the door opened. I began to wonder how long I had been sitting there, before he came. I stood up shakily, as the peacekeeper cleared his throat.

"It's time" he said. I stared at his harsh yet handsome face and wished I could defy him, before following him out of the house. I met up with other victors on the courtyard, with the peacekeepers' watchful eyes on us.

"What the hell are you wearing? You look like one of those hippie whores from 2000 or something", Cashmere exclaimed in horror, when she saw me. I almost wanted to laugh, because she was wearing a black jacket with shoulder pads combined with a pair of pants in snakeskin. Capitol styled. Fortunately, she was so beautiful that she looked good in everything, but if you only focused on the actual outfit – it was really awful. Worse than my own.

"Thank you" I smiled and added in my mind "You should take a look in the mirror before criticizing my outfit".

"Poppy is going to kill you for not wearing her clothes, you know", Cashmere said before turning her back on me, her golden curls bouncing.

Someone slid in next to me and whispered in my ear, sending a chill down my spine. "You look stunning". It was Gloss.

"Don't I look a hippie whore?" I said, faking a smirk.

"Don't care about her. She is in a bad mood, you know".

I rolled my eyes. Of course he'll always find an excuse for his sister's bitchy way. He was so whipped by his twin sister. I smiled at him.

"I don't get insulted that easily" I draw my finger along his shaved chin, taking a look at Cashmere who glared at me. She didn't like me touching her brother in front of her. I smiled mischievously at her.

"Now, get in line. Latest victors first and the oldest last!" The Head peacekeeper roared.

With a sigh, I was placed behind Sapphire, the victor of the 72th hunger games and between two peacekeepers – Lowery and Parker. I took a quick look around and saw that every victor stood between two peacekeepers. Weird. I wondered if all security was really for the victors' sake.

We walked in silence until we arrived at the square by the Justice building. The crowd welcomed us with loud applause. There were people everywhere, so many people in fact that I was starting to feel a bit claustrophobic, even though I wasn't in touch with them. The wall of bodies seemed to be growing as more and more people tried to get past the peacekeepers to the victors. I could hear the crowd screaming out the names of their favourite victors, like my name, Cashmere, Sapphire, Lux and Gloss. Eventually the crowd spilt up with the force of the peacekeepers, and let us the victors go straight to the stage. I tried to ignore the crowd, who were screaming my name as I followed the lead.

The District one's escort Claudia was already standing on the stage with a big smile. I cringed. I never liked Claudia, she was way too bitchy and we never got along well. This year, she had lavender colored hair that reached down to her waist, with an ugly hat formed like a bird. She wore a purple dress of feathers and a pair of transparent heels. Her puffy, plastic operated face was full of make up, in different colours with lots of glittering gems. Her skin was covered of lavender tattoos in floral pattern. Clearly, she tried too much. She looked ridiculous, as always.

I could hear Cashmere scoffing behind me. Apparently, she thought the same about Claudia. I couldn't help but smile.

As we took our places at front of the stage – the women right of Claudia and the men left of her. The whole reaping process was shorter than normally. The escort went forward to the microphone.

"District One, welcome! This year is very special. We're celebrating the 75th anniversary and 3rd quarter quell of Hunger games!" Claudia exclaimed.

And too soon, she continued "As always, ladies first!" with an even bigger smile. My throat went dry and I tried to breathe properly as she went to the big glass bowl.

_Your odds are one of nine. Don't worry._ I tried to calm down myself by telling myself this over and over. _Don't say my name. Not my name. Don't say Annie Cresta. _

Claudia was all smiles when she said, "The female tribute from District 1 is….". I didn't know why but I suddenly got a bad feeling as Claudia unfolded the sheet of paper and smiled as she opened the mouth.

"Annie Cresta!".

I knew it. One of nine in odds didn't matter. _I can't do it. I can't get back there. _A bloody Noah appeared in my mind. I covered my mouth with my hand, to restrain a sob. I felt Cashmere's elbow in my ribs and it made me remember that I was on broadcast live. I quickly pushed Noah out of my mind and pulled on my act. I smiled and waved as I went to the front. As if I was happy to be given the honour of representing District one in 3rd quarter quell. But it was too late. They noticed it. I just appointed myself as a weak target on broadcast live. I didn't hear any volunteers. Perfect…

"Amazing!" Claudia's smile got even bigger. I could see that she was enjoying. She knew that I was going to die. Claudia turned back to the crowd.

"So, now for the men" she continued and to my delight, she tripped on her heels on her way to the other glass bowl. I saw how the escort corrected her hair as she reached down and took a piece of paper, before hurrying back to the microphone.

"The male tribute from District one is…." She unfolded the sheet of paper and smiled when she saw the name. She then looked out over the crowd and waited some seconds before announcing the male tribute of district 4, adding to the excitement.

"Gloss Monteaux!" Claudia exclaimed. My eyes got wider as I realized she was saying Gloss's name. The odds weren't in my favour today.

Even though Cashmere stood three feet away from me, I could hear her gasping. Unaffected by his sister, Gloss looked confident and careless as he went to the front of stage, next to me. I didn't look into his eyes, as he offered me his hand and I took it. His hand was unexpected cold and sweaty as we went forward to the edge of stage. We raised our hands in the air, in a gesture of victory. For a moment, our eyes met. He was smiling but I could see that he wasn't happy. His blue eyes were cold.

I looked back to the cheering crowd. How was I supposed to kill him?

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**What do you think? Please review, I always appreciative some feedbacks, both bad and good ones. **

LouisVuitton11


	3. The afterwards

Hi! Sorry for bad updates. I've been busy with school and the exams. Here's the third chapter, longer than normally. And this time, there's some Finnick in this chapter.

**Enjoy!**

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_I never got the chance to say goodbye to Bruce and Ruby properly. I didn't even hug them before they went to the reaping. I thought that I would meet them again in the visiting room or after the reaping if I wasn't selected. _

"Ladies and gentlemen, our tributes for 75th annual hunger games – Gloss Monteaux and Annie Cresta!" Claudia exclaimed happily.

In the next moment, I let Gloss's hand go as two peacekeepers lead us in to the justice building with Claudia in tow. Inside the Head peacekeeper Isaac was waiting for us with a smirk.

"Follow me" he said and oddly, lead us out through the back, not to the visiting room. I wanted to run back inside, but I couldn't. My legs wouldn't move. I felt pretty odd, like I'm going to slip into a dream. I took hold of Gloss's arm, to prevent me from falling asleep. I didn't know why I even felt sleepy.

"What's happening?" Gloss asked to Isaac, confused, as he slid his arm around my waist, to keep me upright. I didn't realize that I was that dizzy.

"New routines, ordered by President Snow" Isaac said, in explanation. Then it hit me. I wasn't going to meet Bruce or Ruby again. Ever. I could feel the panic coming back when I realized that I haven't even taken a last look at them in the crowd. Often when I realized how precious those seconds were, it was too late for them to be captured because the moment has passed.

A small voice in my mind kept saying that I've won once and I'm going to meet them again if I win. But this time, I knew that the odds were against me. I would compete against the experienced victors – the killing machines. Their odds were very bigger, even though I was once a career. But this career Annie was gone long ago. I couldn't even see blood without slipping away in the world, where Noah would try to kill me, only to have his throat sliced by my knife. The blood. On my lips, on my cheeks forming freckles of blood, in my hair…. it was everywhere. Even my tears were red. And his bloody coughs as he stared at me with this strange, twisted smile.

I wanted to cry, but in some way I managed to stop the tears, as Gloss lead me into the car. No way was I going to show up at the train station with red- rimmed eyes. I wasn't going to screw up, like I did at the reaping. I'll going to make sure that my next move was perfect and exactly what the career Annie would do. The career Annie would never cry in front of others.

Both Gloss and Claudia tried to talk to me, but I couldn't or didn't want to listen.

Everything was spinning when we arrived at the train station but I still managed to notice that there were no cameras there. In fact, the station was empty except for the actual train and the peacekeepers. It was definitely weird. First, we didn't get to say goodbye to our loved ones and now there were no journalists and paparazzi here. It felt like everything was fading away, when the realization hit me. It could be my last time in District 1. My home. I heard Gloss murmuring my name but I didn't hear what he said, and I felt how his arm around my waist tightened.

I didn't remember how I did get on the train, but in some way I did. I just remembered how Gloss helped me down on the velvet sofa in the living room part of the cart. I managed to grasp Gloss's wrist, as I tried to sit up. It felt like I needed a grip on the reality. As my vision became clearer, I could see Gloss's face contorted slightly as he looked at me.

"Are you okay? You seemed like you were going to faint" he asked. I could hear Claudia murmuring in a low voice, annoyed "A weak one. Exactly what I wanted". I could feel the rage growing within me.

"Claudia…don't forget that I've killed seven people and I won't mind killing another one before entering the arena again" I snapped at her, with my Capitol voice. The sultry, low voice. The voice that I hate myself for, but I couldn't help but using that voice around Capitol citizens. It's what I did all of time in Capitol – acting. It felt more comforting, being another Annie around Capitol citizens. In a way, they will never get to know the real Annie.

"There's our Annie" Gloss grinned. It looked like Claudia was getting red, but it was hard to tell. Her makeup was covering up all of her facial skin.

Claudia looked like she was going to say something but was cutting off by the sound of footsteps. It was Lux.

The escort pulled back by the sight of Lux – the tall, dark haired man with a big, dark pink scar that leapt all way down the half of his face. Lux was such a nice gentleman, a lot nicer than the most people in District 1. But the scar looked so scary that it frightened almost everyone. The most of victors usually get their scars removed after Hunger Games, but Lux refused. He actually threatened the plastic doctor, who tried to talk him out of it, to death.

I've always thought that the scar showed that he was a strong survivor. I myself never got the chance to speak up. They removed my scars without my permission, when I was unconscious after my hunger games.

At first I was confused and wondered if he was a part of my imagination, before I remembered it. Our mentor. Of course, maybe we didn't need any guidance but we needed someone who made sure we got sponsors, as we fought in the arena. If I remembered right, Lux was Gloss's mentor in the 63rd hunger games. But weirdly, there was no sign of my mentor Cashmere.

"Isn't Cashmere going to mentor Annie?" Gloss asked, he was apparently thinking of the same thing.

"I'm going to mentor you both" was all Lux said, without any answer to my unspoken question. I had a feeling that Gloss was the reason to Cashmere's absence.

I sank in the sofa. It was one of those times you feel a sense of loss, even though you didn't cared about the person in the first place. I guess that's what disappointment is.

But I guess that Lux was a good replacement. I trusted him.

Ever since the 72nd hunger games, he had always been an unexpected support for me. I was forced to meet up with some clients during the hunger games, when it was five tributes left. I felt horrible because I had to abandon my tribute. But unexpected, Lux took care of my tribute, Sapphire. Under his watchful eye, she won. It made me realize that the kindness actually existed in him, and that the scar have given me the wrong idea about him.

I turned to Gloss. I could see the thunders in his dark blue eyes. He was disappointed about his sister's absence.

"Your unlucky bastards" Lux sighed as he sat down.

"Oh, Lux! Then we're ready for the trip!" Claudia exclaimed and settled in an armchair. "Now let me tell about the amazing schedule".

I sighed, as I thought that I was going to be in Capitol about some hours. District 1 was near enough to make the trip in 6 hours.

"Wow, I'm really looking forward to it. Tell me more" Gloss smirked, in a mocking way. But of course, Claudia didn't notice it and her eyes were beaming, as the train started to move.

"We will start with the lunch, served by the amazing Tanana. Then in the afternoon, it's teatime with the classic pastries. The train is going to arrive in Capitol at 6 p.m. First, we'll have dinner in our apartment and afterwards, we'll watch the replay of the reapings. And then, you're gonna need some beauty sleep. Tomorrow, you will meet your stylist at 8 a.m" she finished off, with her aggravating hand gestures.

I leaned back in the sofa and listened to the others talking, as I felt the train accelerate. It felt like I was seventeen years old and was on my way to the Capitol, for the first time, with Noah. I remembered that I was proud of myself that day. I was first of all other girls to volunteer. Claudia didn't even have time to pronounce the whole name, before I volunteered. I couldn't stop smiling that day. Sadly, I had no idea what kind of fate that was waiting for me. I wished that I did. Then I probably hadn't volunteer and I wouldn't be sitting here today. On the way to a game of life and death.

I wondered if Bruce and Ruby would be looking at my empty chair during the lunch and feel the emptiness that I felt right now. Or maybe they just would be relieved to get rid of me. I couldn't help but wonder who would be taking care of Bruce, when Ruby was working. I used to be the one, but now, I guessed they were going to need to find a babysitter.

I looked out of the window, watching the District 1 disappearing behind me, and realized that they would be better off without me. Without me, they would be able to build a normal life together. They wouldn't be living in a constant threat, depending on my behaviour.

When I heard Claudia's annoying voice, I felt extremely exhausted and my head ached as her annoying voice kept talking loudly. As I listened to her voice, I could feel my eyelids getting heavier for every second that passed. And finally, for the first time in several months, I fell asleep without any trouble or my sleeping pills.

* * *

Claudia woke me, by screaming in my ear that it was 40 minutes until we arrived in. It felt like my left ear was exploding.

"Thank you for being my human alarm clock" I murmured and opened my eyes slowly to notice Claudia staring at me, with a stiff smile. I could see by her smile and the rage in her eyes that she was offended by my comment about her being a human alarm clock. I sat up and looked around, to notice that I was in my compartment. Lux or Gloss probably carried me here.

"You missed the lunch and the tea-time. But it was probably good, since you need to lose some weight" Claudia said, in an attempt to annoy me. I didn't have time to respond, as Lux came in the room and towered over Claudia.

"Annie, can I talk to you for a while?" he said. I nodded and waited for Claudia to go out of the room, but she lingered which made Lux sighing and saying "Alone".

"Of course, I misunderstood you" Claudia giggled, looking embarrassed as she rushed off her feet.

Lux scoffed as he sat down on the armchair opposite to my bed. He looked like a giant in my small armchair, which made me smile a bit. I felt so much better now when I've gotten some sleep.

"Time for strategy discussion" he said and slapped my head. Probably to wake me up, even though my eyes were open and I was obviously awake. Maybe he did it on purpose.

"I'm all ears".

"Gloss mentioned that he want you to train together. Does it work good for you?" he began, with his deep, super-dark voice. I nodded.

"Good. I want you two to be a strong team, before and in the arena. Show the others that you two are powerful and that they have to take you both down if they want to kill one of you".

"It sounds good" was all I said. Honestly, I didn't want to think of what's going to happen and that I was about to enter the arena for second time. I just wanted to be thrown in the arena on the fly, so I didn't have to wait for it. Wait until I get killed off. I didn't know why, but I had a feeling, that was saying that death was my next step in the life.

"And you…you will seem mysterious and sexy, just like in your previous hunger games. It worked, right? Plus, you also will act like you have an ace up sleeve and make people curious. Act like you know a way to get out of the arena, which no one else know. Don't talk plainly and try to lead them astray. Don't be as attentive as you were before with Capitol citizens. Pissing off them a bit. But you still have to smile a little flirtatious, so they don't lose interest in you".

So much to remember. I had to write everything down on a napkin. Even more acting. When will it take its end?

"Why isn't Cashmere here?" I asked, all of the sudden. For a moment, he looked at me and didn't say anything.

"This year, there was no lottery of mentor. It was optional to volunteer as a mentor and they also said that it would be enough with one mentor. I was the only one who volunteer" he finally said and sought for my permission to continue. I nodded.

"She couldn't do it, you understand. She said that it wouldn't be fair to you, because she would only be rooting for her brother" he continued.

"it's fine. I understand" my voice was embarrassingly weak. There was an uncomfortable silence until he finally spoke again.

"By the way, Cashmere asked me to tell you that you should wear your hair down" he finished off, with a small smile. I couldn't help but rolling my eyes.

* * *

Standing in front of the train door, dressed in the same clothes but this time with a thin fur coat on – I was ready. My hair was down and fell in soft waves. A sunglass was placed on my nose, in a attempt to be mysterious. Gloss took my arm, making me flinching.

It actually felt reassuring with Gloss beside me, among the colourful people. Even though I knew that he was gonna stick a eight inch blade in my back, if he had to.

I quickly corrected my sunglass, that it was placed perfectly on my nose as the train slowed down and finally stopped.

"Ready?" Gloss asked me, which I answered with a nod. The train door opened and we were greeted with lots of flashes and screams. Strong colours, glitter, feathers and wigs were everywhere. Every face I saw was well fed, plastic operated and covered with tons of make-up. I tried to forget my disgust for them and plastered on a small, but flirty smile as I stepped out of the train along with Gloss. We were immediately surrounded by the peacekeepers.

"Follow me" Claudia said to us, as she went past us with a wide smile. Her lavender colored wig glowed in the evening sun and was moving rigidly along with the wind.

They kept screaming our names, as we followed after Claudia. The multi coloured people tried to catch more glimpses of us through the Peacekeepers lining our walkway. It was easier to follow Lux's advice than I first thought. I just needed to fake a flirtatious smile. I didn't have to wave or acting like I was the world's happiest human being. Gloss and I walked the whole way to the huge building without waving at least once. To my delight, I could see that they were frustrated at our lack of attention to them. I totally enjoyed it.

* * *

After a tour of the apartment, it was time for the dinner. We spent the dinner in silence; except for the moments there Claudia tried to talk without any attention from us others. And this time when she excused herself and soon we heard a bad hidden vomit noise from the bathroom.

The first course consisted of a purple soup with a strong taste of plum, together with small, heavenly bread puffs and an avocado salad. The main dish was roasted lamb racks stuffed with chopped pinenuts and spinach. The lamb racks were severed on a bed of lemon-flavoured rice with small, roasted vegetables. And so the dessert that consisted of the vanilla pudding with honey syrup.

"Shall we watch the replay of the reaping?" Claudia finally asked and put down her lipstick stained napkin on the table.

We went to the viewing room - a room filled with dark red velvet armchairs, a big velvet sofa and a television screen that covered the whole wall. I settled down in one of the velvet armchairs and crossed my legs beneath me. The huge screen flickered to life, accompanied by the voices of the Capitol commentators.

"You should take notes, it might be useful" Lux ordered us. Gloss and me exchanged a look and in this way, we decided that Gloss would do it.

"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the 3rd quarter quell!" one of the capitol commentators said, as the national song sounded.

They started with District 1, of course. First of all, I saw myself in the TV screen. My braided hair was shining and I could admit that I looked amazing. But in the same moment, Claudia called out my name and I could see how my eyes widened and how I covered my mouth with my hand. It was a moment of weakness. If I could see it, anybody could see it.

"It wasn't weakness, that's just human nature" Lux whispered to me and patted my shoulder. I smiled to him even though it didn't make me feel better. I turned back to the TV screen, where Gloss and I raised our hands in the air, in a gesture of victory. This time, I smiled and looked confident.

Then the TV screen switched to District 2, where Brutus and Enobaria were selected. I was totally fine with Brutus being one of my allies, but Enobaria…she always looked at me like she wanted to rip out my throat. It didn't feel good. I glanced over at Gloss and could see that he wasn't either pleased with Enobaria. The tributes from District 3 were Wiress and Beetee. I didn't know Wiress but I've met Beetee twice. He was…an interesting man of few words. The TV-screen switched to District 4, where an old woman, Mags, was selected. She leaned heavily on a cane, and the other female victor tried to help her forward, but she waved away her help. It made me smile. Such a determined woman. I remembered her as the mentor during the previous hunger games. I think that her last time as mentor was at 68 or 69th hunger games.

"Finnick Odair!" District 4's escort called out. The golden-bronze haired man waved and smiled like it was one of his best days. But the smile was totally fake. I knew because I always smiled this way around Capitol Citizens. My stomach clenched.

_It was during my victory tour party in Capitol, when I met him for first time. I remembered how he walked towards me with a sugar cube in his hand, as I stood and chatted with Gloss at the buffet table. Finnick Odair…he was a living legend in Panem, one of the youngest victors. All I knew about him was that he was very popular in the Capitol and among tributes and that woman everywhere loved and craved for him. He was also known for his extraordinary beauty. I could understand why. He was tall, athletic with perfect golden skin and bronze-coloured hair. But best of all was his incredible eyes, in a perfect colour of sea green. _

"_Annie Cresta, nice to meet you…finally. I have to add that your finale was something unforgettable" he said and popped the sugar cube in his mouth. I stiffened. I hated it. Hated every time someone mentioned the finale. As if it was something I should be proud of. That I should be proud of myself, for killing six kids. _

"_Thank you, Mr Odair" I answered, coldy. _

"_No mind. By the way, call me Finnick. I feel like a old man when people call me Mr Odair" he smiled. I didn't want to smile back, but I could feel the corners of my mouth moving upwards. There were thousands other bigger problems in this world, and he was worrying about being called Mr. Odair. _

"_Finnick then" I said and looked at Gloss, to see if I was doing well. I still didn't know how to behave like a normal human being, even though it had been six months since I won. Gloss and Cashmere were the only ones that I was comfortable around; I didn't need to act in front of them. I couldn't even be normal with my family. No wonder that my dad thought that I was a disappointment. _

"_May I dance with you?" Finnick smirked at me, not caring about Gloss's annoying look. I was tempted to refuse, but I saw Cashmere shake head from afar. I plastered on a smile and nodded. Finnick offered me his hand and lead me into the middle of the dance floor. _

_Actually, I couldn't even dance well and I only got a quick lesson by Claudia before the party. Luckily, Finnick was good at taking the lead. It was easy to follow his steps and movement. I only stepped once on his feet. Kindly, he said nothing. Eventually, my movement became easier and more fluent. _

"_I have to say that you look wonderful in this dress. It goes well with your green eyes" Finnick whispered near my ear, as we turned around. The skirt of my red dress swept around our legs and quickly fell back in the place. _

"_Flattery doesn't work on me" I answered, a bit too fast. I didn't like the dress at all. The red colour with the heart-shaped neckline felt humiliating in some way, as if they wanted to remind me that I'm only here because I made a bloody choice. And the fact that it was the hundredth compliment on my dress didn't please me. _

"_I didn't try to flatter you. I'm just pointing out your beautiful features" I could see the corners of his lips tug, forming a grin. I was annoyed at myself, for noticing things like that. I looked away._

_We continued to move elegantly under the night sky, covered in stars, with the scent of the food. We whizzed past the dancing guests in theatrical, fluffy clothes._

"_You smell like sea" he noted as we swung around. _

"_I've been bathing in the scent of sea salt" I answered and saw his inquiring face. I guess it wasn't often that people choose sea salt as the scent. _

_I felt forced to explain.__ "It's a strange thing I just do. When I was younger I felt that I didn't fit in here in District 1 so I used to dream about foreign countrys and my dream often had the sea in it. The dream was so vivid that I could feel the smell of sea salt. Now when I have the luxury to bathe in sea salt, I won't miss the chance." _

_He blinked and looked forlorn for a moment. _

"_It smells like home" he finally said, as we turned around. District 4. Sea. I remembered and suddenly felt stupid. I looked up, seeking for his face. It was then our eyes met for real for the first time. And he just kept looking at me, like I was a fascinating thing he never see before. I could see something unprotected in his eyes. Vulnerable. It felt like he was letting me see a glimpse of his real me, unintentionally. I suddenly felt uncomfortable and quickly broke our eye contact. _

_It was too much. I concentrated on the surroundings. He didn't say anything. It was a relief, because I didn't know what I would say. _

_I remembered that his touch felt strangely comforting. Every time his hand touched my lower back, I shuddered. Like a small electric shock. So when the head gamemaker Senenca interrupted us, I felt somehow empty when Finnick took away his hands. _

"_May I dance with Annie?" Senenca asked politely, with a strange smile. _

"_Of course" Finnick said, oddly, in a hard voice. He turned to me. _

"_Thank you for the dance. I hope I get to see you again soon" he said the last one with a smirk. I couldn't help but rolling my eyes. _

The rest of the reapings passed faster than I remembered. I didn't think I ever actually watched the whole replays. Vaguely, I remembered Johanna's face. And a woman with three children that refused to let her go. It was probably Cecilia. Some other familiar faces appeared in my mind. It all ended with a dramatic turn, at District 12's reaping, when the young loverboy volunteered for Haymitch, the older man who always smelled of booze. It meant that the star-crossed lovers were going to enter the arena together. The loverboy made an idiotic decision.

As soon as the show was over, I stood up. I really wanted to be alone.

"I'm going to get some sleep. Good night" I said, walking out of the room, not caring to wait for their answers. I found my room and saw the lavender pyjamas deployed on the bed. It was a silk pyjamas short and a camisole with lace details. I changed into it and crawled under the sheet. Hidden there, I waited until I could breathe properly again.

It felt like when I heard Finnick's name being called out, all memories came rushing back. It shocked me in some way. These memories occurred on the same day I was sold for the first time.

_My victory tour party_

"_Annie, come back!" Senenca screamed and tried to hold on my wrist, but I managed to twist my wrist out of his grip. I found the door and ran out of there, without a glance at him. All I could think of in this moment was to get me out of the place. I just ran and ran. I still could hear him screaming my name. _

"_Annie! Annie!" he kept screaming. "Snow will hear about it!". _

_The tears were flowing down my cheeks, as I tried to adjust my dress. As a result of his violence, the heart-shaped neckline was virtually destroyed. I tried to pull together the fabric and cover my bare breast. Even though, he didn't follow me and his hands were gone, I could still feel his touch on me. His mouth on my breast, his hands squeezing my butt, his wandering fingers on my thigh…His wine stained lips against mine. The thought was burning my bare skin and I felt so dirty and disgusting. I just want to wash away every fingerprint and scrub my skin until it was bleeding. _

_I wonder if it was what Snow meant. I repeated his words "You're going to meet some people who admire you a lot, privately. They've paid extra to see you. Make sure that you behave. If you don't want to bad things happen". In this moment, I understood. He sold me. _

_Suddenly, I couldn't breathe. It was what happened. I was sold. Like a human sex toy. Why would Snow do it? _

_Everything was blurry, as I ran into the small private flower garden that smelled of the exotic flowers that I didn't know the name of. Into the maze. It felt like I was going to lose my breath, but I couldn't stop. I needed to get out of there. Out of the Capitol. Out of Snow's view. I didn't even notice that I've run into someone, until I felt his hands on my arms. As if the man was some kind of plague I ripped off his hands, in fear that it would be Seneca. _

"_Please! Don't touch me!" I screamed and backed, in panic. _

"_Are you okay?" the voice didn't belong to Senenca. To my surprise, the voice belonged to the famous Finnick Odair. I looked up and met his beautiful sea green eyes. _

"_What do you think? Does it look like I'm fine?" I whispered, noticing how his eyes hardened and his jaw tightened as his eyes moved down to my ruined corsage. I suddenly became self-conscious and pulled the fabric together even harder, as his eyes moved to the scratch wounds on my neck and arms. His shoulders sank._

"_I'm sorry" was all he said. At first, I didn't understand why. But it was then I noticed his sad face expression and his hair was dishevelled, his shirt wrong clasped and he had some lipstick on his neck and mouth, as all the pieces fell into place. I wasn't the only one to be exposed. _

"_So am I" I answered, stiffly. I felt how the rage built within me. I felt cheated. At the moment I killed Noah, I thought none of this would happen. I thought to win Hunger Games would be a great honor and that I would be free and my family would be proud of me. Instead of it, I experienced a great disappointment from my father and all of my old friends avoided me. And Noah…he wasn't here anymore. I was all alone. _

"_Why did you never warn me? You all knew it would happen me, in the same moment I killed Noah" I grabbed his jacket sleeves and tried to understand why they would let me win, only to let me live like this. It felt like I killed Noah for nothing. I didn't even care about the fact that Finnick was a total stranger to me and that he saw me cry. I just couldn't understand why they would do this to me. _

"_I killed him for nothing! Only to discover that living as a victor is curse" I shouted. Finnick looked around, before he suddenly took me into his arms and quickly brought me behind a huge shrub. _

"_What are you doing?!" I tried to struggle out of his grip, pounding my fists against his chest. He loosned the grip, but still held into my wrist. I looked up at his eyes and was shocked to see the humiltiy in them. _

"_Stop! Just listen to me" he whispered, his grip on my wrists hardened. "You have to be careful with your words. Otherwise, bad things happen. If you want to survive, do what you have to. He knows how to ruin you". _

_I began to shake my head, closing my eyes. No. My chest heaved as I drew shallow breaths, suddenly realizing that I was actually crying. I felt his broad shoulder against my wet cheeks and his arm moving around my shoulder. _

_I let out a small yelp. Finnick Odair was actually comforting me. I didn't even know him, in any way. But I knew that he wouldn't tell anyone about it. That the victor Annie wasn't that strong. I could feel all the pressure and stress disappearing, as I cried into his shirt._

_I cried for Noah, for the six deaths I caused for my so called freedom, for all pain I caused and for everything that happened to me after the hunger games. _

_I still remembered that his shirt smelled of some exotic perfume._

_They told me that I would bring honour and grace to my family. I would be the luckiest one. They never told the raw truth. That I would end up here in Capitol, smelling of Senenca and crying on a stranger's shoulder. Feeling like a disgusting whore. In this moment I really wished that I died in the arena. __Death__ with dignity is better than life with humiliation._

From the corner of my eyes I could see the Avox, Lauren, coming in my room. She carried a tray with fruits in a small bowl, a jar of sleeping pills and a glass of ice-cold water. I smiled at her and didn't except to get a smile from her. I didn't even care to ask about how she knew that I needed the sleeping pills.

"Thank you, Lauren".

Unexpectedly, she smiled back, in a heartbreaking way. As if she was sorry for me.

* * *

**What do you think? Please review, I always appreciative some feedbacks, both bad and good ones. **

LouisVuitton11


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